Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money (fan fiction pitch)

Synopsis - The lowly science officer finds himself at odds with the system when the ship he is on is sent to mine the resources of a planet so he decides to warn the people whose planet is about to be ‘developed’ by the Empire.

He steals a vessel that had been seized for smuggling, pilots his way through the asteroids then uses hyper-drive to travel to the planet where he crashes in a remote swamp.  He is found by rednecks who take him into town where he meets a wise man at a cigar shop.

After warning the people the Princess comes up with a plan for him to detonate a bomb on the ship but he refuses because he knows the people on board.  After he refuses she sends one of her own people using his identification and ship.  He must stop the person and find a way to save the planet.

SPEC SCRIPT BEGINNING

EXT. ASTEROID FIELD
From a vast open shot we get close to where miners are extracting minerals from an asteroid.

Everything looks rugged and second hand.  The men wear spacesuits, not far away is a camper, they are working a drill.

One of the men signals to the other and points out into space where the camera pans to see an asteroid explode.

Miner 1: Who do you think it is?

Miner 2: Who do you think?  Assholes.

We see more high powered laser blasts destroying a path through the asteroid field and then a large ship.  The ship passes by then at the very back of the ship we see a vanity license plate that reads SP_BALL2 then down to a pair of Truck Nuts hanging off.

Title Sequence: Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money

In a Galaxy far, far, far away a young prince rescued a princess from the tractor beam of an evil man then blew up his ship and married her rescuing her from her ultimate enemy, boredom (Prince Valium).

This is not their story nor the story of their adventures.  It is the story of their child...

INT. SPACEBALLS 2
Captain Schlitz is in his throne drinking a glass of juice, a bottle sits nearby “Rare: Agave Nectar” as he ruminates about his plans.

Not far away stands his assistant giving a presentation using a projector.

Assistant
We drop the equipment onto the planet.  We take all the plant life, separate it out.  We take every berry and put it into the juicer.  The planet should yield enough pulp to make paper for one Congressional session.  Then there’s the oil, Helium, and other gases trapped in the rock.

Captain Schlitz
In no time we will have sucked everything out of the place leaving it a husk.

INT. SPACEBALLS 2
A gunner sits playing a 3D version of asteroids at his station which is really a representation of him shooting the asteroid field.

Not far away a Chad, lowly science officer, sits at his monitor leaning against one hand as he watches Youtube clips of something funny when he gets an alert that a new video has been posted by his favorite user Princess Earth.

He is about to watch when a movement makes him close the window.  He looks up to see his friend Kevin.

Kevin
Too bad they’re all going to be breathing canned air soon.

Chad
What do you mean?

Kevin
You haven’t heard?  Two weeks from now where going to the planet and set up a full-scale mining operation.  Out next stop is to get the equipment.

Chad
What?  We can’t.  It’ll ruin the planet.

Kevin
Too late everything is already in motion.

Random Ideas:

The actor who plays the villain has a double who wears the suit and he/she is sitting off stage when he/she interrupts the filming to criticize the actor.